Temper

What's the inverse of schadenfreude? Pettiness, maliciousness - not exact enough. A lack of gratitude for what you have, constantly believing that the grass is greener elsewhere, that someone else's life is (undeservedly) better than yours. These feelings plague me. The only thing I can say for myself is that I am ashamed of them, and, with my rational mind, I know that there is no one I would trade places with for even a day. I have been incredibly blessed, far more than I could ever deserve. I think at the root of all my negativity is my anxiety. It's like an evil mushroom sending toxic sprays out into the ground all around it. I've always been an anxious person, always been a worrier, but it's been worse lately and I don't know why. So many people out there have real problems: where their next meal is coming from, illnesses, etc. I only have neuroses. Isn't this what will power is for?