view from a train in Norway

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Learning to Play Nice

The wife of a friend constantly talks about "mani-pedis" and trips to the spa. Every little bump in the road of life warrants a trip to the spa. Because she doesn't work, life's bumps usually take the form of cooking for a dinner party, or just feeling blue.

Why does this irritate me so much? Okay, so mani-pedis aren't my thing: I can't get used to having long fingernails (a result of years of piano and sports) and I don't wear strappy little shoes often enough to warrant a pedicure (although I am rather fond of my feet, which just look so quintessentially feet). But why does it annoy me that someone else might take pleasure in these things?

It's not that I envy her lifestyle. Now that I work from home, my schedule is certainly free enough to allow me the occasional trip to the spa (something I would never have had time for in my former incarnation as a corporate lawyer). I no longer make any money, but my husband makes enough for a monthly or bi-monthly mani-pedi.

I think that may be it: maybe it's the picture of a woman going to the spa and getting manicures and pedicures while her husband is off at work, doing far more important things. The picture of a frivolous woman, "kept" in the way a house pet is kept. I fear that woman. I fear that she lives in me, too. Certainly most people might justifiably confuse me with her. I don't have a corporate job or a regular salary anymore. I spend a lot of time shopping (although, to be fair to me, this is because it's nearing Christmas). I am my little family's primary meal-cooker, home-cleaner, and errand girl.

In sum, I guess my friend's wife irritates me because she brings up yet again the question over which I have been obsessing for the last four months: did I do the right thing in quitting my job to pursue what may well prove to be a chimera?

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