As I get closer and closer to thirty (only two more years now!), my friends increasingly divide themselves into two camps: those with babies and those without. The two groups don't mix. I don't have a baby, but for some reason the baby group accepts me and lets me hang with them. This may be because they're trying to convert me.
They may be succeeding. Lately, I find myself eyeing babies. Especially during Halloween, when parents dress their babies up in those adorable plush costumes. I find myself avidly reading my friends' baby blogs and waiting impatiently for them to post new pictures. All of this scares me to death.
If I have a baby, will my babyless friends reject me? Technically I will no longer be one of them - but could they continue to love me anyway? Will they understand when I can't go out for drinks, or to a movie?
Even beyond my social life, I'm afraid of how a baby might force changes I'm not ready to make. I've already made a lot of big changes this year, giving up a $200,000/year job for a job that currently pays me $0, moving to a new city, cutting my previously waist-length hair. I'm not sure I can handle any more changes right now. But balanced against that is the ever-present fear that if I keep waiting, one day I'll wake up and find out I'm too old. Being almost thirty is freaking me out.
Why do babies have to be so damn cute?
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