Hanging up the saddle

I don't like to have people touch my face. It feels too personal: if I don't know you that well, there's no reason for you to be going there. It's funny, the gestures that different people find intimate. I knew one girl who liked to pat people's faces, touch their hair; to her, this wasn't a big deal, and she didn't think it was a big deal if you did it to her. The intricacies of putting your arm around someone of the opposite sex, or of having someone of the opposite sex put their arm around you: not a big deal if the arm goes around your shoulders, but suddenly a much more uncomfortable situation if it goes around your waist. At least for me. And even the arm around the shoulders can be a big deal if it stays too long. Arm around the waist, hand on my lower back, or holding my hand while I'm standing next to you: to me these things feel like you're trying to say I belong to you, and unless you're my husband, I don't.