view from a train in Norway

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Two or three things I know for sure

Few writers can grab your heart and wring it the way Dorothy Allison does. I read her books years ago, but every now and then a line or two that she's written will play in my head. The title of her memoir especially.

What do I know for sure? I repeat them to myself - my central tenets - over and over again to ward off the anxieties that besiege me. Anxiety is a terrible thing; being struck by lightning is one thing, quick and easy. Anxiety is like being chewed to death by little mice. The constant pounding of your heart, the difficulty breathing, day in and day out, like drowning slowly with the sun in your eyes, knowing the surface clear air is near but unreachable.

So what do I know for sure? "Cast all your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7.
The love of God. My husband. My family. Certain friends.
This, too, shall pass.

It's more than most people have, more than most people know.

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