Autumn coming

School's in session again, at least in the school district in which my mother-in-law works. I can't believe that summer is nearly over. And 2007 draws to a close. Why do I lose track of time the way that I do? Seems like just yesterday that I was shivering in my under-insulated apartment, waiting for warm days, tank-top weather, and now here it is fall again. Good thing I love fall. Pumpkins and colored leaves and jacket weather, long walks with just a nip in the air. Hot cider, cinnamon and nutmeg and cloves, all those pungent spices. Sitting in front of the fireplace, watching the flames. It's not quite the same in California as it was in the Midwest, although it's not true that we don't have seasons. The leaves change color here, too. I think the difference is that people here don't appreciate it as much. In the Midwest, fall is a reprieve, a welcome transition between summer and the harshness of winter. Here, fall and winter blur together a little more; at least, we don't dread winter as much.

I woke up literally shaking in the middle of the night last night, after a particularly vivid and horrible nightmare. Transitions have always been hard on me, I think. I live too much inside my own head. Slowly learning to put one foot in front of the other again. Things always seem more poignant after a bout of depression; everything just a little more beautiful, in the terrible sense of "nothing gold can stay."