Surf Report

Sign of a NorCal surfer: hands, face, and neck are several shades darker than any other part of the body. It's a weird look.

Today's surf was not good, although the water was warmer than usual and the sun was shining, which is oftentimes a rarity on Northern California shores. I kept getting tangled up in kelp. Also, kelp in the murky water would tickle my legs and feet, which freaked me out. And then I was nearly divebombed by a pelican. On the plus side, there were some sea otters in the water.

Of maybe twenty surfers in the water today, I was the only woman, except for this fifty-plus-year-old who was ultra aggressive. I find that male surfers, relative to female surfers, fall in two categories: (1) the nice ones, who either treat you the same as they treat anyone else (i.e., other male surfers) or are gentlemanly and let you have the wave if you haven't gotten one in a while; and (2) the assholes, who think that because you're a woman, they can get away with stealing waves from you. I have to say that I don't run into that many Category 2's, but I did today. It is not unknown for male surfers to get into fistfights over drop-ins, but was I really going to punch someone for stealing my wave? Yes, yes, I suppose one could always employ one's "feminine wiles" in lieu of brute force, but honestly, the Category 2's are the guys who would think that because you're pretty, you must not know what you're doing, which in turn justifies their stealing waves from you.

This is sometimes true in life as well as in surfing: I once went with a paralegal to visit a German client, whom I had never met before. When we were introduced, he looked surprised and said, "You're the lawyer? You're too..." And then he turned red and cut himself off. When he excused himself to take a phone call, the paralegal burst out laughing. She said, "He was totally going to say that you're too pretty to be a lawyer, but you could see him wondering whether he's allowed to say that in the U.S." I have also had people advise me that, if I'm not getting what I want out of a witness, I should try flirting. But I would rather do things the way a man would do them. Maybe this is my own limited perspective, that I think the "male" way of doing things is the only correct way? I guess I don't think of it as male, but as androgynous. I would like, at least where work is concerned, to be considered androgynous.

Sometimes I think that the only way to really be respected is to be so big that you at least look like you can pound anyone who gets in your way.